Today I did something I rarely do anymore: I bought and read an actual newspaper, like with ink and everything. In this case it was the Oakland Tribune, no one’s idea of a Pulitzer contender, and yet somehow I managed to learn several things that have escaped my attention among all the data pouring out of the internet:

• Both the Giants and the A’s are in position to make the playoffs, meaning that another Bay Bridge World Series is not out of the question. If this comes to pass, I’m 90% sure that there will be another big earthquake in the Bay Area. Be prepared. (I think it would be hilarious if something happened to the new bridge they’ve been working on for the last 23 years. I’m not saying I’m wishing for it. I just think it would be funny.)
• The marketing gimmick dreamed up for Michael Chabon’s new novel Telegraph Avenue — temporarily transforming Diesel Books on College Ave. into a “record store” (really a book store with some records in the middle) — was successful enough to garner front-page coverage in the Trib. And good for it, or them, or him, or whatever; you’re not going to hear me complaining about anything that goes right for the publishing biz these days.
• 12 planters in Montclair Village are being spruced up with new mosaics. This is the kind of nugget I usually glean from local “paper” the Montclarion, which appears weekly on my doorstep whether I want it or not.
• Amazon.com wil start collecting sales tax on purchases made in California on Saturday. Oddly enough Amazon hasn’t used this fact to try and goose me into making unwise purchases this week; maybe they’re trying to pretend it isn’t happening?
• Apparently there is some kind of trouble happening in the Middle East. This whole kerfluffle is causing me to rethink the release of my next feature film, The Buddha Is a Big Fat Fuck.