Just in case you doubted…

that Simon Cowell is a flaming jackass (and there’s no reason why you should, but still):

LOS ANGELES, Jan 11 (Reuters Life!) – Don’t expect to see Bob Dylan joining the celebrities on “American Idol” anytime soon.

One of the show’s judges, Simon Cowell, says he has never bought a Dylan record because he “bores me to tears.”

The British pop impresario says in the February issue of Playboy that he would “plug my ears and run in the other direction” if he were to see a 21-year-old Dylan singing “Blowin’ in the Wind.”

Cowell, 47, is not known for holding back when it comes to issuing verdicts on the wannabe stars who flock to the top-rated talent show. Last season, he said a female contestant was so fat that the stage should be enlarged, and he suggested that another hopeful should shave his beard and wear a dress.

On the other hand, he told Playboy that inaugural champ Kelly Clarkson is “a young Aretha Franklin,” and he much preferred her music to Dylan’s.

Dancing with the Elders

Tee_Pavement wizard large

Today I’ve been listening to Matador Records’ deluxe reissue of the third ā€” and arguably best ā€” Pavement album, the aptly titled Wowee Zowee. I tend to have mixed feelings about these reissues, because of that voice in my head that says “Well here you are again, pinhead, paying good money for an album you already own.” But damn, you get a lot for your 14 bucks here. First off, Wowee Zowee itself, spiffy-sounding but still a riddle wrapped in an enigma all these years later. Then 32 bonus tracks, which is, you know, a lot of music. They’re not all gold (Soundz), but the perverse logic that guided Malkmus, Stairs and co. at the time dictated that they must bury their catchiest songs (“Easily Fooled,” “Give It a Day,” “Kris-Kraft”) on B-sides and EPs. Those are all here, along with a Schoolhouse Rock cover (“No More Kings”) and the mighty “Gangsters and Pranksters,” which contains the timeless couplet “Gangsters treat their ladies right/Pranksters curse their chickless plight.”

The whole thing comes wrapped up in a groovy package with an informative and nice-smelling booklet. My only complaint is that the back-cover cartoon with the wizard exclaiming “Pavement ist Rad!” is nowhere to be found here, and that’s just wrong.