Most days lately I turn on the news, groan, watch as long as I can out of a sense of duty and morbid curiosity, then turn it off and try to forget everything I’ve just seen.
But some days I just sit there and cackle. Today has been one of those.
When the history of this time is written, and I think it’s likely though not certain that civilization will survive at least to that extent, today’s scandal — all the top officials in the government save the president, who was out of the loop completely, casually chatting about military secrets on a text chain that included a journalist with no security clearance whatsoever — will be a tiny footnote in the story of how the Fourth Reich was, hopefully, defeated. But at the moment it’s the gift that just keeps giving.
Look, I’m no rocket scientist. Name a mistake you can make in life and I’ve made it, in one form or another. But when I look at this astounding collection of dimwits, dumbshits, and doofuses, I can’t help but feel pretty smart.1
I know, we shouldn’t get too smug about it. The original Nazis could also be stupid — I watched enough Hogan’s Heroes to know that — but almost managed to take over the world anyway. We should respect the power these people hold, if not the people who hold it. Their idiocy could kill us all, and the correct response is probably terror, but still: It’s fucking hilarious. And we need that right now. Scuse me while I kiss the sky.