Well, so much for democracy. Apparently it wasn’t such a good idea anyway.

I’ve been going through the stages of grief, not in any orderly fashion, just trying them out to see if any of them help. Sitting here imagining the smug look on that cocksucker’s face as he remembers the crimes he’s gotten away with — and plots the new ones he’s going to commit now that the Supreme Court has given him a blank check to do whatever he wants — is really bad for my blood pressure.

DENIAL

Brother Cecil suggests that the contrast between reports of record-high turnout and paltry actual vote numbers suggests some shenanigans with the votes. And I would dearly love to believe it. I can imagine a phone call from That Fucking Guy to Elon Musk that goes something like this:

Elon, I just got off the phone with Vlad, and let me tell you, we’re going to win this thing. It’s in the bag. You can endorse me to help it look good, and things will go well for you. Or if you don’t… well, you know. And don’t even think about telling anybody, or you’re going out a window. Capeesh?

It feels plausible, but of course we’d need evidence. Running around crying foul willy-nilly is what the other side does. And you’d think the big brains in Kamala’s camp would have noticed if 10 million votes disappeared. They would have, right? Right? Hello? Is this thing on?

BARGAINING

Bargaining requires someone to bargain with, so as a confirmed nondeist there’s not a lot I can do with this stage. Current events make it clearer than ever that there’s nobody in charge; if you can see this shitshow as part of some divine plan, I’m not sure whether to envy you or pity you. A bit of both I guess.

I mean, I wouldn’t mind being wrong. If a big hand were to reach down from the sky, pluck TFG off the golf course, and flick him straight into the sun, I’d be OK with that. But I’m not holding my breath.

ANGER

I’m not angry at Kamala, necessarily.1I just, all due respect, don’t want to see, hear, or think about her for awhile.It’s possible that combined headwinds of a) being associated with an (unjustly) unpopular administration and b) being a nonwhite woman were just too much for her to overcome no matter what.

But the geniuses who ran the campaign have some splainin to do. It was a big mistake to think Americans give a rat’s ass about anything but the almighty dollar. Democracy, rule of law, bodily autonomy, racism, sexism, climate, basic human decency… we as a nation care not about these things. We just want the price of bacon to go down so we can continue to stuff our big fat faces.2It will be interesting to watch this dynamic collide with RFK Jr.’s Health Nazi ideas. I expect Bobby will end up drowning in a big vat of mayo and Mountain Dew.

Maybe that’s not fair. Maybe I’m an elitist; I know I’m very privileged to not live hand-to-mouth. Maybe what I mean to say is: It’s the economy, stupid. Or to put it another way, self-interest trumps everything. (Yes, I used that word. Fuck it. Nothing is true, everything is permissible.)

The irony of course is that TFG will not actually be good for the economy. If he follows through on the tariffs and mass deportations he promised, we’ll be living in a Great Depression faster than you can say “Hooverville.” Many of the people who voted for him will probably suffer more than I will. This is what you call “cold comfort.”

DEPRESSION

Fuck, why bother?

Acceptance is still a ways off. We’ll get there eventually, we always do… adapt or die, those are the options. And I’m not ready to call it quits yet.

Somehow or other we’re going to have to live through these next four years. That will require some creativity… let me work on it.