In the course of looking up a quote attributed to Winston Churchill the other day, I came across this menu of Sir Winston’s daily alcohol intake:

• 7:30am: glass of sherry
• 10–11am: whisky (Johnny Walker preferred) and soda, mixed very weak to begin (only about a thimbleful of whisky in the bottom of the tumbler) but topped up over the course of the morning (and likely getting progressively stronger) until shortly before lunch
• 1pm: pint of champagne (Pol Roger by preference) with lunch (usually 3–4 courses) or claret, if champagne not available; digestif of brandy (90-year old cognac preferred)
• 3:30pm–5pm: more whisky and soda, to the same method as above, in advance of daily siesta
• 6:30pm: more whisky and soda while preparing for dinner.
• 8pm: dinner preceded by an aperitif of sherry, with wines paired to each course, or champagne as a default fallback, followed by a digestif of brandy or port
• 10pm: drinks with dinner guests, typically the same port or brandy enjoyed at the and of the meal
• 2am: one last glass of cognac as a nightcap before bed

His motto seems to have been “Keep Calm and Stay Slightly Drunk All the Time.” (It appears that he had a iron liver and spaced out his drinking enough to avoid ever getting completely legless.) He also chain-smoked cigars. And yet somehow this man not only led Britain through WWII but lived 90 years.

I draw no conclusions from this. Certainly I don’t care to emulate him; just reading that list is giving me a pounding hangover. I just find it fascinating what some people are able to tolerate.

The same article contained this tidbit:

There’s… an important distinction to be made here between a “drunkard” and an “alcoholic.” A drunkard is a person who drinks too much, either as a one-off, or out of habit, generally to the point of inebriation (“drunkenness”). An alcoholic is a person who has a physical addiction to alcohol. Many drunkards are alcoholics – but not all of them. Similarly, many alcoholics are drunkards – but not all.

I did not know this… and I’m not sure what to do with that information either. (I’m generally a fan of Modern Drunkard magazine, when I can remember it exists.)

That Fucking Guy, as previously discussed, does not drink. But he’s certainly been good for the alcohol industry; sales went way up during his administration, and spiked further during the pandemic he mismanaged. Among the few who would benefit if he got elected again would be brewers, winemakers, distillers, and owners of liquor and grocery stores.

My own personal liver and those of my loved ones would not benefit, this I can tell you.

But let’s not think negatively. It can’t happen, it won’t happen. On Election Day we won’t drink negatively… we’ll be celebrating, not mourning… and yes, there will most likely be a long, painful interlude of unrest before Inauguration Day, but in the end the righteous shall be rewarded and the naughty shall be smitten. Visualize it, manifest it. Or as Ty Webb would have put it:

(Why did they cut off his saying “I’m a veg, Danny” at the end there? It’s so perfect otherwise! Well, never mind, it is what it is. Selah.)