Last night we watched the clip of Kamala having a beer with Stephen Colbert, by which I mean she opened a Miller High Life and had two sips while talking trash about That Fucking Guy, then said “This is what happens when I drink beer.”

Well, I guess it wouldn’t have been very presidential for her to shotgun the thing. But it was all a bit ham-handed; she might as well have had a neon sign over her saying “Relatable!”

I found myself wondering how many people were involved in the choice of brand. While in Wisconsin I saw a lot of people drinking Miller Lite, but maybe that sends the wrong message somehow? Of course it had to be an American beer; I seem to remember that some candidate got in trouble a while back for drinking Heineken. (Don’t feel like taking the time to look it up.)

Sorry for the cynicism. On the whole she did come off as real and human, in stark contrast to her opponent, who just gets more hideous and deranged all the time. His politicizing of Hurricane Helene was predictable but fucking gross. I’m sure at this very moment he’s flipping channels and plotting how he’s going to make hay out of Milton.

TFG famously does not touch alcohol, having seen older brother Fred Jr. drink himself to death at an early age. I am tempted to make a crack about not trusting a man who doesn’t drink — the view held by such dubious luminaries as John Wayne and Winston Churchill — but in truth I have friends who don’t drink and are all the more trustworthy for it.

I try not to judge people’s choices one way or the other. TFG just seems like the sort of guy who should be drinking expensive Scotch (paid for by other people) mixed with Seven-Up. But his taste runs more to stimulants, from Diet Coke to OTC speeds to — one assumes — Bolivia’s finest, Don Jr.’s ingestible of choice.

Of course Rudy Giuliani drinks enough for the whole lot of them, and has the rotting brain to show for it. Or maybe that’s not fair — it’s entirely possible Rudy has a brain full of worms and that the boozing is a symptom rather than a cause. If our mental health system was functioning he would have been locked up somewhere long ago. I blame Ronald Reagan.

And that makes two days running I’ve said something mean about Reagan. I’ll try to keep that going. I still hate that motherfucker, though at times now he seems almost quaint. At least Ronnie never cozied up to the Russkies, however much Prince might have wanted him to.

By way of staying positive: This morning I listened to Check Prophet’s song about Willie Mays, which always provides a few minutes of uplift. I probably should have posted it four months ago when the Say Hey Kid died. Better late than never.