There was an assassination attempt over the weekend, and now everyone is trying to figure out why. Maybe Thomas Matthew Crooks knew pure evil when he saw it?

Probably not. More likely this is the result of brain worms of some kind. As we all know, the worms want RFK Jr. to be president. That would be why they ordered the shooting and why, if you opened up the head of Joe Biden right now, you would most likely find a mass of wriggling larvae. (Sorry, Joe. Love ya buddy.)

Possibly the worms have our best interests at heart. Bobby K. may be insane but he seems unlikely to usher in the Fourth Reich, which is seeming more and more imminent with every day that passes.

I could be wrong. I really, really want to be wrong. Somebody tell me I’m wrong.