For you aspiring filmmakers, here are a few suggestions for the soundtrack. I’m not sure what we should call this thing; “Café Society” has been used too many times already, including by Woody Allen in 2016. Even if Woody hadn’t been canceled on G.P. (though they’ll take away my Bananas DVD when they pry it from my cold, dead hands), that does not seem like a film one wants to be associated with. The best review I could find was from the New York Times, which only managed the tepid headline “‘Café Society’ Isn’t Woody Allen’s Worst Movie.”

“Café Society Blues” might be better, and as it happens that is already the name of a song by Count Basie, so that might be a good place to start.

And of course Josh White’s “One Meat Ball” would have to be on there:

And probably at least one version of “Strange Fruit,” Josh’s and/or the more famous Billie Holiday one:

We’ll also need some of those “songs of hope” that “symbolize the kind of world we’d all like to live in,” as Josh White put it, such as:


And I’d really like it if somewhere we could work in the routine Josh White would do when he broke a string. I haven’t been able to find a recording, so it would take some working out, but I think it would be worth it.

When [a string] popped he would finish whatever song he was doing, then start singing George Gershwin’s “Summertime.” He would strum an occasional chord while removing the old string, replacing it, then tuning up the new string note by note in perfect, relaxed harmony with his vocal line. By the end of the song his guitar would be as good as new, and the audience would give him a wild ovation.

OK, that’s a good start. Just one more thing — please, for the love of God, don’t let Bono anywhere near this project. Thank you.