This week I’ve been reading Hunter Thompson’s account of the last days in office of Richard Nixon, and I find myself salivating a little bit. How long, oh Lord, how long, until Fuckface Von Clownstick is run out of Washington on a rail? Has he already committed the crime(s) for which he will be impeached and then pardoned by President Pence, or is that yet to come? I just hope it doesn’t take five years and a re-election for it to happen.

There’s some major historical irony in the fact that the Watergate burglary was committed because Nixon was worried about losing an election that, it turns out, he won easily. One can easily picture FVC doing the same thing — so determined to win the popular vote this time that he signs off on election-machine hacking, widespread phantom voting, or the kneecapping of minority voters.

With any luck it will not come to that. The foulness and corruption infesting the Von Clownstick administration is so rampant that there just have to be some major felonies being committed. The only questions are, a) how long will it take for them to be discovered and brought to light, and b) how much will the president know, and when will he have known it? For him to be brought to heel, he will have to be caught so red-handed that all but his most delusional supporters will finally be forced to face the truth, but I for one have no problem imagining at least a dozen ways that could happen.

This is fun to think about until you realize that President Pence is going to be just as bad, and in some ways worse. Say what you want about FVC, he does not go around citing Jesus as the reason for his every decision. Pandering to the base notwithstanding, his is a thoroughly secular brand of narcissistic rapacity. Pence will open the door to theocracy…which would be one thing if he actually Did What Jesus Would. The reality is likely to be much more in line with the cold-hearted, narrow-minded social Darwinism that passes for Christianity in post–Jimmy Carter American politics.

But that is something we are probably going to have to deal with at some point. It might as well happen as soon as possible, so voters have as long as possible to get fed up with Pence before the next election comes around. So all you potential Deep Throats out there, get busy.