For a while now I’ve been getting Reuters’ Oddly Enough emails, which give me one-paragraph summaries of the day’s strangest news stories. Sometimes I click through to read the whole story; but this one is so great as is, I almost don’t want to know the details:
June 15, 2010 10:55 AM ET BERLIN (Reuters) – A German student created a major traffic jam in Bavaria after making a rude gesture at a group of Hell’s Angels motorcycle gang members, hurling a puppy at them and then escaping on a stolen bulldozer.
In the course of conducting my (perfectly innocent, I swear) affairs today, I happened to come across the Web site for something called the “World Toilet Organization.” I am not making this up and as far as I can tell it is a real thing, either that or a very elaborate and staggeringly deadpan hoax. As a favor to me I’d like for you to peruse their site, read about World Toilet College, World Toilet Day, and the World Toilet Summit, and let me know via comment which you think it is. Your assistance is appreciated.
Over the first couple of days the 2010 World Cup has stubbornly resisted my determination to stay interested in it. It started off well enough, with a game between South Africa and Mexico that ended in an unsatisfying 1-1 draw, but had in its favor the novelty, pomp, and circumstance of being an opening game featuring the host country. That game was quickly followed, however, by a remarkably tedious contest between France and Uruguay that ended in a scoreless tie. During the slow stretches of this game, of which there were many, there was nothing to occupy your attention except the remorseless droning of the vuvuzelas—horns that sound like the frustrated buzzing of a million bees just angry enough to make a commotion but not angry enough to do anything about it—which are apparently going to be ubiquitous at this year’s tournament. They ought to be stopped but probably won’t be, because they are “part of the culture” and no one wants to be the cause of any further unpleasantness in South Africa.
This morning we got the first match with an actual victor (South Korea) and loser (Greece, looking every bit as dreadful as their economy). Then an Argentina and Nigeria matchup that had only one goal, but looked fast-paced and at least boasted the spectacle of Diego Maradona stalking the sidelines like a friendly bear in a suit.
The main event of the day, at least in these parts, was England vs. the U.S., which I watched in a German restaurant in Alameda with Vortices Cecil and Power. And there was some drama, including a goal by England that happened so fast I almost missed it and an unbelievable case of fumbleitis by English goalie Robert Green. This last may just possibly have been attributable to the Adidas-made “Jabulani” ball being used this year, which was the cause of much controversy in the runup to the World Cup, but in any case it gave the U.S. fans something to cheer about. (I, being a royalist at heart, was rooting for England.) Unfortunately, that was it for the scoring, and so Real Football blew yet another opportunity to make inroads on the hearts and minds of America at large. As the Old Man wrote,
A perfect example of why soccer will never be a major sport in the US. Here in the US we want winners and losers dammit!
On tap for tomorrow: Algeria vs. Slovenia, Serbia vs. Ghana, and Germany vs. Australia. Oh, and a little thing called Game 5 of the NBA Finals, or the Massachusetts Republic vs. the Emirate of Southern California, if you prefer. Great opportunity for a long summer day of total assal horizontology. Go Celtics! Go Ghana! Go Slovenia! Hell, go everybody—except you, Kobe. I have to draw the line somewhere.
With the World Cup set to start tomorrow, I recommend that you take a minute to review my list of World Cup Dos and Don’ts. Though written in 2002, they are every bit as relevant to to this year’s tournament.
Or maybe I’m just in a good mood today…some say that the Blues X’s “She Said” is the best video in the history of videos, and they have their reasons. Anyway, I always thought the Butthole Surfers’ last (or at least most recent; they still live and may yet rock again) album Weird Revolution was underrated. Actually the Butthole Surfers on the (w)hole were underrated—it was the name, I think. They were one of the few to proudly carry the psychedelic freak flag into the 80s and 90s, though despite the long hair they were the opposite of hippies. (Gibby Haynes was an accounting major, you know.)
Well, no time for an in-depth consideration of the Buttholes today; when I finally build my museum they will have their own wing, though you will have to sign a waiver before entering. Instead, this video for “The Shame of Life.” I absolutely love this song, though it is clearly an attempt to follow up on their fluke trip-hop hit “Pepper.” Like their fellow-travelers Ween, the Buttholes always win the tug of war with whatever genre they dabble in, always emerge unscathed from whatever depth to which they sink; as the Trouser Press Record Guide put it, “they just like it down there.”