Imagine my surprise this morning on discovering that Oliver Stone is directing a remake of Casablanca set in modern-day Afghanistan. Kandahar is scheduled for release this November, and I don’t know what’s more surprising: the casting of Mark Wahlberg as Rick Blaine, or of Lindsay Lohan in the Ingrid Bergman role. Val Kilmer as Victor Laszlo makes sense, given his history with Stone in The Doors; but Ricky Gervais in the role originated by Claude Rains seems a bit of a stretch. And I don’t doubt that Philip Seymour Hoffman can do a convincing Peter Lorre, because he can do anything; but can Andre “3000” Benjamin do “As Time Goes By”?

(and if you’re finding this all hard to believe, well…the calendar is over there to the right….)