I have accidentally discovered an amusing new time-waster that will probably now sweep cubicles across the nation. Over the holiday I was on Amazon looking for my youngest stepbrother’s wish list. When I typed in his name I got 11 results which I then had to sift through to figure out which one was him. It turned out none of them were, but in the meantime I got some fascinating insight into the desires of 11 random guys named Doug. (The last name will not be given here.)

For instance, Doug #1 wanted:

• The Cash Nexus: Money and Power in the Modern World, 1700-2000
• Empire: The Rise and Demise of the British World Order and the Lessons for Global Power
• Rutherford B. Hayes: Citizen, Soldier, President
• Biohazard: The Chilling True Story of the Largest Covert Biological Weapons Program in the World—Told from Inside by the Man Who Ran It

Clearly, a possible future despot.

Doug #5 wanted:

• No, Daddy, Don’t!: A Father’s Murderous Act of Revenge
• Murder So Cold: A Father’s Deadly Rage, a Daughter’s Tragic Legacy
• A Rip in Heaven: A Memoir of Murder And Its Aftermath

Something disturbing is going on here, something I maybe should be notifying the authorities about.

Doug #8 is into classic TV:

• The Bob Newhart Show – The Complete First Season
• Hogan’s Heroes – The Complete First Season
• The Twilight Zone – Season 2 (The Definitive Edition)
• Green Acres – The Complete Second Season (1966-67)
• Magnum, P.I. – The Complete Second Season
• Have Gun Will Travel – The Complete Second Season
• Kojak – Season One

Meanwhile, Doug #9 wanted 24 books by Danielle Steel, including Passion’s Promise, The Promise, Season of Passion, Loving, and To Love Again. Every single one of them can be had for one cent plus shipping. So if you have a few dollars of Christmas money left over, why not send them to me and I will make a random Doug very happy?