Page 2

The front page news today was all about the weather — which still, after all these years, no one does anything about — and Iowa, where Democrats voted (sorry, “caucused”) for an African-American and Republicans voted (sorry, “caucused”) for a theocracy. On days like this I am drawn to page 2, where the odd and interesting items congregate. Today was particularly juicy:

• At Gettysburg Hospital in Pennsylvania, the same couple, Kyle and Becky Armstong, had the first baby born in the new year for the second year in a row. I can’t help but picture them sitting in bed with a stopwatch on March 31st, waiting for midnight before going at it like wild animals.

What Doug wants

I have accidentally discovered an amusing new time-waster that will probably now sweep cubicles across the nation. Over the holiday I was on Amazon looking for my youngest stepbrother’s wish list. When I typed in his name I got 11 results which I then had to sift through to figure out which one was him. It turned out none of them were, but in the meantime I got some fascinating insight into the desires of 11 random guys named Doug. (The last name will not be given here.)

For instance, Doug #1 wanted:

The Cash Nexus: Money and Power in the Modern World, 1700-2000
• Empire: The Rise and Demise of the British World Order and the Lessons for Global Power
• Rutherford B. Hayes: Citizen, Soldier, President
• Biohazard: The Chilling True Story of the Largest Covert Biological Weapons Program in the World—Told from Inside by the Man Who Ran It

Clearly, a possible future despot.

The Red and the Black

If you’re looking at the main page of this blog, at the top right you’ll see a calendar with numbers in black and red. A red number means there’s an entry for that date, a black number means there’s not. Ever since Crispy B. set this thing up for me almost three years ago, one of my great pleasures in life has been making the black numbers turn red. Some months I’ve done them all; some months only one or two. But so far in 2008, two for two! How long can I keep this up?

Auld Lang Sine Wave

So this was pretty much what I consider to be the perfect New Year’s Eve. Watched Shall We Dance with Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers (that is, Fred and Ginger were in the movie, not in my living room, though that would have been cool). Drank some wine. Watched the ball drop in Times Square, a spectacle marred only slightly by the inane babbling of Kathy Griffin (how Anderson Cooper refrained from strangling her, I’ll never know). Played with the cats a little. Ran an episode from the first season of SNL — not one of the best, but musical guest Jimmy Cliff ripped it up. Took an hour for [redacted]. Then spent the last hour of 2007 and the first of 2008 in pursuit of my personal goal of watching The Big Lebowski more times than any living person.