Two bad men.

An article about the death today of Rev. Jerry Falwell contained the following line:

The founder of the Moral Majority was discovered without a pulse at Liberty University.

To which the natural response is, this is news? Jerry Falwell was always a man without a heart. A truly despicable human being who presided over hypocritical moral witch hunts with a shit-eating grin plastered on his evil doughboy face. I am not a hateful person, but I will gladly dance upon his grave singing “Hallelujah,” just as soon as they dig one.

So can I take the demise of this loathsome specimen as a good omen for my Golden State Warriors, who face elimination tonight in Utah? Sure I can. Nobody can stop me. But there’ll be no cracks here about the state of Utah, which I honestly know very little about, or about the Jazz, who (despite what the Oakland Arena crowd would have you believe) do not suck. I won’t try to rig the game by pleading for make-up calls or divine intercession; let’s just have some high-quality, high-speed basketball and let the chips fall where they may. Right? Right.