Oh happy day. Oh happy, happy day.
Anything is possible now. Pigs can fly. Fish can ride bicycles. Alberto Gonzalez can start telling the truth. You can tug on Superman’s cape, if you want to. Trust me, it’s OK.
The Golden State Warriors have made the playoffs.
The last time that happened, back in 1994, well…we were all a lot younger, for one thing. Monta Ellis and Andris Biedrins, second-year players who made key contributions this year, were 8 years old. Kurt Cobain had just blown his head off with a shotgun (supposedly), and O.J. Simpson had not yet killed anyone (allegedly). We were listening to albums like Teenager of the Year, Kerosene Hat, and Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain. The phrase “presidential knee pads” had yet to enter the lexicon, and we still believed in a place called Hope.
And other blather to that effect. That’s the distant past, and for the moment I am concerned about the near future. Beginning on Sunday the Warriors will face the Dallas Mavericks, whom they swept the season series from this year and just generally match up well against. It’s not totally crazy to believe that, even though the Mavs are a #1 seed and the W’s a #8, our boys can play them to a standstill, if not actually beat them.
And then, maybe, the Warriors will ride their momentum through upsets of the Suns and Spurs, going on to meet the Pistons in the NBA Finals. We’ll be watching the game one day and the “Breaking News” graphic will flash. ABC News will cut away just in time to catch an enormous spaceship landing on the roof of the White House. America will watch in stunned amazement as a squad of Black Lectroids distintegrates Bush, Cheney, and Rove with their ray guns. Having secured the area, they will return to the mothership and emerge once again in the company of our new leader…George Clinton, the Funky President.
It could happen. Because reality has cracked wide open. The Golden State Warriors have made the playoffs.
We were so young. So young. We were almost Monta Ellis young. And do you remember? The way I would break to the basket and levitate?