You can’t make this stuff up

I found this item from today’s paper simply priceless. It has a real Monty Python quality — absurd down to its last detail, including cameos by a Phil Collins and the Yoko Ono.

Prize goes to art that means nothing

LONDON — German-born abstract painter Tomma Abts on Monday became the first female painter to land the Turner Prize in the 22-year history of one of the art world's most controversial awards.

Abts, 38, who has lived in London for 12 years, has said that she begins every piece — they all measure exactly 18.9 inches by 15 inches — with no idea what she is about to paint and that they symbolize nothing at all.

A few words of seasonal relevance

Every existence in nature, every existence in the human world, every cultural work that we create, is something which was given, or is being given to us, relatively speaking. But as everything is originally one, we are, in actuality, giving out everything. Moment after moment we are creating something, and this is the joy of our life. But this “I” which is creating and always giving out something is not the “small I”; it is the “big I.” Even though you do not realize the oneness of this “big I” with everything, when you give something you feel good, because at that time you feel at one with what you are giving. This is why it feels better to give than to take.

—Shunryu Suzuki

If I’d Done It

If O.J. had done it, he would have planted a bloody glove that was too small for him at the scene.

You won’t find many people willing to admit in public to being disappointed that O.J. Simpson’s book, If I Did It, will never see the light of day. But I am one of them. Think about it; now we will never know the answer to that most vexing of questions: If O.J. had killed his wife and her friend Ronald Goldman, how would he have done it? Certainly not the way the crime was actually done, with a knife, brutally, just outside Nicole Simpson’s apartment. No, O.J. is far too clever for that. An O.J.-devised murder plan would surely have involved international intrigue, multiple red herrings, Nazis, doppelgangers, and Polonium 210. And this is what we will be missing by never getting to read If I Did It: a work of imaginative fiction rivaling The DaVinci Code or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory for sheer creative breadth.