So, to pick up where I left off, which was: The Daily Show. I had some vague ideas floating around in my head about the big stories of the day, which were a) the Rumsfeld resignation, and b) the Britney/K-Fed split. And of course Jon Stewart and his lackeys got there first and got there better, drawing the (what now seem like) obvious parallels between two couples who swore they were in it for the long term. My schtick was much weaker, something about Rumsfeld — who always liked to ask and answer his own questions anyway — now being able to do it in the privacy of his own home. Believe me, somewhere down in the depths of my cerebellum, it was screamingly funny. Actually, more like mildly amusing. But never mind.

As for Britney and Kevin, my imaginary commentary referenced My Name Is Earl and went something like this:

Britney is now free to marry the guy who works down at the Crab Shak, while Kevin will use the divorce settlement to crisscross Middle America crossing people off his list, presumably starting with anyone who’s ever listened to his music.

I know, lame. Honestly, I am not feeling well. Now I must return to watching Stephen Colbert make like Charlie Chaplin. I love professional comedy.