We’re all familiar with media depictions of someone — often an anthropomorphized animal, such as a coyote — having an anvil dropped on him. Yet how many of us have any real experience of having an anvil dropped on us, or contrariwise of being the one to drop an anvil on a fellow mammal?

Isn’t this really the problem with our modern world, that we are so detached from the reality of concrete things such as anvils?

This is why I think Anvil Club is such a great idea. I’m picturing a dingy basement room somewhere filled with anvils of all shapes and sizes. Once a week, we will gather there and take turns dropping anvils on each other. During the rest of the week, we will not speak of it, but you will be able to spot another Anvil Clubber from the way he walks — striding confidently, head held high, or at least as high as the inevitable back injuries will allow. We will be suffused with the inner glow that comes from having a heavy metallic object dropped on you, or from dropping such an object on another, and people will respond to this without knowing why. We will become more popular and successful than ever before.

You know I’m right, don’t you? Now who’s with me?