In case you hadn’t heard, I am currently engaged in a blog-off with my nemesis Cecil Vortex. You will probably hear Cecil whining and crying that today’s entry is a cheat, because it’s technically more typing than writing. Actually, less like typing, more like cutting and pasting. But screw you, Vortex! Take your Virginia Woolf books and your tea and crumpets and your pressed flowers and go sit in a meadow and write some more “poetry.” See if I care.

Anyway, I got some spam in German today, and just for kicks I ran it through Babel Fish to see what it said. I found the results amusing, and you may too:

Richly by search machines (

Let me one equal get straight. I am lazy and arrogant. Everything is no matter to me, because I am simply much to realm. I am much to realm, in order to sit at all here and write this text. Therefore I will seize myself briefly. I earn each year over million euro with search machines, without doing much for it. Whether it pleases you or not, here goes it not around it to you to please, but therefore who you gladly exactly the same realm waerst like I, otherwise you would not read that here! You found this web page, because you would like to know as one by search machines become rich. There are many sides, which are concerned with in the InterNet how one makes money in the InterNet. Perhaps you already pursued or other idea. And? How were the concepts like that? Do you have to learn a course on a DVD bought around as one become rich? Were you impressed? I not! Not even a little! What do these sides promise? A few thousand euro in the month? Do you want to earn a few thousand euro in the month? That is ridiculous! I earn millions and if you knew like then it ill you would make! My income generates itself nearly automatically! Thus who am I?

I am that, which drives past in the Aston Martin at you and you think: “which for an arrogant asshole!” And do you know which? You is right. And do you know which? That does not interest me at all! Do you, which is important to me your opinion, mean? Your opinion is all the same to me! You find me arrogant? You can leave my web page at any time again! I do not write this text around friends to win, to show but over you, how one can earn millions! It is not a secret, which I sell on this web page my idea. If you see, what I make exact you will be surprised so which am possible!

Yours sincerely,

Putrid, arrogant search machines