From today’s Chronicle, page B2:

Naked Man Gets Stuck in Chimney

Apparently this poor bastard stumbled home after closing time Friday night, only to find himself locked out of the house where he was staying in Hayward. His alcohol-assisted decision process led him to believe that a) the best thing to do was to go in through the chimney, and b) his clothes would only get in the way. He started rappelling down the chimney using the TV cable, which snapped. Let’s fast-forward a little bit: “His muffled calls for help finally prompted a neighbor to phone police about 6:30 a.m.”

I bet you feel a lot better about whatever stupid thing you did this weekend, don’t you?