When old buddy Willem of Medastyle fame pointed out that an Abe Vigoda “ink signature with printed quotation” was available on eBay for $8, I said that I was going to buy it, and I did — I have to love myself for that.

In truth, it’s just a 3-by-5 card with some typed text and a signature that I have to presume to be Abe’s. But someday, maybe, Abe Vigoda is going to die, and then I’m going to be a wealthy man.