Six-Syllable Samoan Superstar

These are truly the dog days for the non-baseball-loving sports fan. The NBA season is but a gleam in David Stern’s eye at this point, and that leaves us with the NFL preseason, which has to be the single most pointless exercise in all of professional athletics.

Here’s what you get in a typical preseason game: The starters play for a series or two, taking it easy so as not to risk injury. Then the second-stringers play out the half, giving us a chance to see exactly why they’re second-stringers. In the second half we get the third-stringers, followed by some guys picked out of the crowd who have always wanted to play pro football. That’s not my idea of entertainment.