I’ve pretty much gotten off the whole spam-as-accidental-art trip, partly because it got old, partly because spam doesn’t seem so cute these days. When I’m having a dull, dull day at the office, seeing new messages pop up in my inbox is a cause for great excitement. But when these messages turn out to be subject lined “Best pills for sex from Canada” or “Add up to 4 inches to y%ou$rs peni(s yv7bmy,” the happiness turns to disappointment and then to rage.
I also get a lot of junk comments on this blog. For some reason the entry titled “Bauhaus, Back from the Dead” seems to be a particular spam magnet. Today it drew the following comment which, although rather prosaic, struck me somehow. It seems like a commentary on modern economic realities, with a surreal, sinister twist at the end. (Note: Line breaks are mine.)
Lines of credit cheap
Life insurance online car insurance
Bay Area car donation
Debt free home equity rate
Smokey mountain knife
It never ceases to amaze me what those resourceful spammers will come up with. This week, I got one that takes what seems to me like a wholly new approach to sales: outright hostility to the potential customer. It was subject lined “You’re stupid man. buy viagraw,” and inside it contained this helpful advice:
You’re stupid man. buy viagra. maybe it will help you. oh, no. nothing helps you.
Now if I needed “viagraw” — and really, honestly, I definitely don’t — would I buy it from this asshole? I don’t think so. Then again, he did get my attention, which was probably the idea.
Check out this verbiage some Viagra vendor sent me today. Is it not delightful?
WE GLAD TO PERFORM FOR YOU COOL SUGGESTIONS OF MEDICAMENTS.
SEX IS NOT A TROUBLE FOR YOU ANY MORE TAKE PLEASURE IN IT!
SURPRISE HER AND GIVE HER EVERYTHING YOU BOTH DREAMT FOR.
USING OUR ADVANCED TREATMENT YOU WILL BE ON THE TOP OF EDGE.
ALSO YOU WILL SAVE YOUR MONEY WE HAVE A REAL REDUCTION.
UNFORGETTABLE NIGHT THAT YOU COULD HAVE JUST JOIN US!
Taken individually, the various elements of this bit of text — which accompanied an unwanted stock tip from someone called “Hoskins” — are rather prosaic. But put them together, and you get a powerful artistic statement about the banality of modern life. Or something.
The condo has three bedrooms, three baths plus a powder room, overlooks Granada Golf Course and is walking distance to Miracle Mile. But just when the industry was starting to get comfortable with the idea of two competing formats, now along comes a third. This turned out to be a nightmare. Come watch people do stupid things, funny animals and much much more.
Come watch people do stupid things, funny animals and much much more. (more…)
I thought I was done with the spam glorification…but this one was just too excellent to pass up.
we decided to return there for the foodgasm worthy pesto sauce!
How are you going to use it?
I actually beat him at mini golf! :::daydream believer:::. :::daydream believer:::.
Inspirational, this time, with a lyrical twist:
Don’t give in the problems, whatever age you are!
Have a BEST sex in any time you want!
because the Moon
strings on violin. There