Kitty cat meow

Posted in The sacred box on July 25th, 2012 by bill

I just watched a great Colbert Report segment on Shepard Smith, who is Brian Williams’ only legitimate competition for world’s most entertaining “legitimate” newsman. In the course of it they had a clip of him saying the following – and I don’t know the context of this, I don’t want to know, I just want to sit back and enjoy it as the pure freaky word jazz it is:

Kitty cat meow
Thousand dollars
Snooki’s pregnant

Omigod

Posted in The sacred box on December 19th, 2011 by bill

I just wanted to post this so I would be sure to never ever, lose it. The key line comes 1:13 in: “He’s been consistent since he changed his mind.”

Priceless.

The Dividing Line

Posted in Movie of the week, The sacred box on October 8th, 2011 by bill

Patricia Neal and Walter Matthau in 'A Face in the Crowd.'

Maybe my favorite sequence in A Face in the Crowd is one I couldn’t find on The YouTube, and since I am not yet a smart enough monkey to capture my own video off a DVD, I’ll have to just tell you about it.

It begins about 26 minutes in, just as Lonesome Rhodes is making the leap from small-town radio in Arkansas to a TV show in Memphis. There’s a great shot of Lonesome (Andy Griffith) as his train pulls away from the station in Pickett, AK where hundreds of fans are seeing him off. He waves goodbye with his hat, looking back at the admiring throng, but then turns to face forward, into the camera. In that moment he gives a look that has something really profound in it. It’s hard to say what exactly. It’s more than just hope, or expectation, or confidence; it’s a look that says this guy is going to fucking eat the world. He is America circa 1957: a hungry predator, an unstoppable force. That was a long time ago.
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Festivus Is Here Again

Posted in The sacred box on December 23rd, 2010 by bill

The old calendar on the wall tells us that Dec. 23 has rolled around, and that means only one thing: time for Festivus once again. What’s your favorite part of the holiday? The Airing of Grievances? The Feats of Strength? I myself have a great admiration for the clean, modern simplicity of the Festivus Pole, but honestly there’s no part of the tradition that I don’t love. Happy Festivus, everybody!

A few words from Ron Swanson

Posted in A few words from Lao Tzu (or someone like him), The sacred box on August 30th, 2010 by bill

A lovely piece of wisdom from my favorite character on my current favorite TV show:

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He’s a grown man. Fishing’s not that hard.

Tour de France 2010, Postscript

Posted in The sacred box, Tour de France on July 27th, 2010 by bill
Phil Liggett and Paul Sherwen: a very close relationship.

Phil Liggett and Paul Sherwen: a very close relationship.

Re the Tour de France, Merle Baggard writes:

OK, glad it’s over. Please get back to more important subjects.

Merle likes to push my buttons, but I take his point. I do want to make just one more note before moving on, though.

The one thing that seemed to get people really emotionally involved this year was only tangentially related to the race itself. This was what has become known as the “falling out” incident involving longtime Tour commentators Phil Liggett and Paul Sherwen.
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The Day SNL Became SNL

Posted in Gurn Blanston, The sacred box on April 25th, 2010 by bill

Over the last couple years I have made a careful study of the first few seasons of Saturday Night Live, by which I mean watched them on DVD late at night, sometimes while drunk. For the most part, they haven’t quite lived up to my fond memories; the writing is occasionally brilliant but uneven, and the musical guests in this early period are often questionable. One night recently, out of sheer stubbornness I sat through two long segments of Keith Jarrett playing tedious solo piano and making hideous, orgasmic moustache-faces — but I did not enjoy it, I can tell you that.

Last, night, though, I think I reached the turning point: the broadcast of April 22, 1978, with Steve Martin hosting and the Blues Brothers as musical guest. This episode had pretty much everything you could ask for: a lengthy Steve monologue of material not from one of his albums, “Theodoric of York,” Dan Aykroyd calling Jane Curtin an ignorant slut, a charming dance number by Steve and Gilda, Bill Murray giving Gilda noogies, a high-quality appearance by the Festrunk Brothers, the Brothers Blues1 doing “Hey Bartender” and “I Don’t Know”……..and this:



Yes, that was a good day.

.

1. I realize that not everyone considers the Blues Brothers a pinnacle of modern music. But I never grow tired of watching John Belushi sing and dance, and I don’t imagine I ever will.

A match made in…?

Posted in The sacred box on January 13th, 2010 by bill
The original Dingbat

The original Dingbat

Oh happy day. There I am flipping on Fox News for my daily dose of self-inflicted agony, and here’s Glenn Beck looking very serious with the Statue of Liberty over his shoulder, and he says something typically asinine. The camera cuts away, and sitting across from him is his network’s newest hire, HRH Sarah Palin. (Or as I prefer to call her, Dingbat. Is it sexist and wrong of me to call her that? Does it help that I thought our last president was also a dingbat?)

It’s pretty rare when I see something on Fox that I can 100% get behind, but this is an idea that has my full support. Clearly, this is where Dingbat belongs. It’s just like when Terrell Owens played for the Cowboys; a person I detest paired with an organization I loathe, giving me a convenient place to focus my dark energies. Honestly, I think this is going to work out great for everyone. She gets a job that plays well to her strengths, which are looking good and talkin’ funny in that scary/entertaining kind of way, and we get her on the TeeVee where we can keep an eye on her, instead of in an office somewhere fucking up the country even more. Beck gets to look positively statesmanlike next to Dingbat, who enthusiastically agreed with everything he said. (And that alone should disqualify her from ever again holding public office. Even the people who are on Beck’s side ideologically know that he is a dangerous lunatic, and palling around with lunatics is just not a smart political move.)

While we’re on the subject, I just had to post the following photo that I found while looking for Edith Bunker shots:

Stapleton

Doesn’t it kind of look like a publicity shot for a new Fox show with Bill O’Reilly, Sarah, and Beck? They could call it “Lunatic, Dingbat and Asshole.” Catchy, no?

McCartney, Twin Peaks, and the Queen

Posted in The sacred box on January 30th, 2009 by bill

2781-1.jpg1101901001_400.jpg1512-1.jpg

As I mentioned in the last entry, I’ve been devouring the DVDs of Twin Peaks, and today I reached the bonus features. A lot of cool facts and factoids there, but I was especially struck by one anecdote related by composer Angelo Badalamenti. It has the whiff of being perhaps apocryphal, but it’s at least true enough to be repeated here.

According to Badalamenti, he was hired to do an arrangement for Paul McCartney. As he was rehearsing the orchestra, McCartney pulled him aside and told him the story of a great disappointment in the ex-Beatle’s career.

Paul, it seems, had been invited to perform for the Queen of England at a birthday celebration at Buckingham Palace. He was asked to prepare 35 minutes of his best music, and so he rehearsed his band and was quite excited about the gig. Just before he was scheduled to go on, he was greeted by the queen, and the dialogue between them (as related by Badalamenti) went like this:

Queen: Oh Mr. McCartney, it was just so lovely to see you tonight.

Paul: Well, your highness, I am so delighted that you invited me to help celebrate your birthday. And I’m now going to perform for you 35 minutes of my best works.

Queen: Oh, Mr. McCartney, I’m sorry, but I can’t stay.

Paul: (crushed) But your highness….

Queen: Mr. McCartney, don’t you see? It’s five minutes of eight. I must go upstairs and watch Twin Peaks.

Now It Can Be Told: The Truth About Obama and the Borg

Posted in The sacred box on November 17th, 2008 by bill

Jeri-Ryan-Star-Trek_l.jpg
I tried not to post this hot picture of Seven of Nine, but resistance is…well, you know.

An interesting, underreported sidenote to the recently concluded presidential election: The Borg made Barack Obama president.

Don’t believe me? Flash back to 2004, when Obama was running for the Senate against well-funded and well-connected Republican Jack Ryan. This was an uphill battle for Obama, though by June he had closed somewhat in the polls. Then a Deus ex Machina of sorts intervened: Illinois media dug up custody papers related to Ryan’s divorce from Jeri Ryan, best known for playing sexy cyborg Seven of Nine on Star Trek: Voyager. In these papers, Jeri Ryan alleged that Jack Ryan had taken her to kinky sex clubs and tried to persuade her to participate in public sex acts.

That was the end of Ryan’s candidacy, and Obama easily trounced emergency replacement candidate Alan Keyes. The rest is history. Am I saying that Obama is himself a Borg? Not necessarily, though certainly—as Hillary Clinton and John McCain are the latest to learn—when it comes to Barack Obama, resistance is futile.