Judgement Day Blues

A while back my attention was captured by billboards around town declaring that Judgement Day was coming on May 21. And they weren’t announcing a rerelease of Terminator 2; this was an organization called Family Radio declaring, for real and in public, that the end of the world was seriously nigh.

I was curious exactly what it was that was supposed to happen on May 21; maybe it would be something subtle that they could later claim we had failed to notice. But no, they are going big on this one. Family Radio’s web site says that

On May 21, 2011 two events will occur. These events could not be more opposite in nature, the one more wonderful than can be imagined; the other more horrific than can be imagined.

A great earthquake will occur the Bible describes it as “such as was not since men were upon the earth, so mighty an earthquake, and so great.” This earthquake will be so powerful it will throw open all graves. The remains of the all the believers who have ever lived will be instantly transformed into glorified spiritual bodies to be forever with God. On the other hand the bodies of all unsaved people will be thrown out upon the ground to be shamed.

The inhabitants who survive this terrible earthquake will exist in a world of horror and chaos beyond description. Each day people will die until October 21, 2011 when God will completely destroy this earth and its surviving inhabitants.

If that actually happens, I should have a good view of it, seeing as there’s a huge graveyard just down the street from me. But, call me a skeptic, I feel pretty confident that it won’t. What interests me much more is what they’re going to say when May 21 comes and goes and the dead are still in their graves and Jeebus has not appeared. Will they say they miscalculated the date, and maybe offer a new one based on new interpretations? Will they tell us that the power of prayer convinced JHVH to spare us? Or will they just pretend the whole thing never happened? The suspense is killing me.

9 Responses to “Judgement Day Blues”

  1. Merle Baggard Says:

    I guess they don’t read the bible because it clearly states, “no man shall no the day”, regarding the rapture. Fucking hypocrites.

  2. Merle Baggard Says:

    I mean, “know”

  3. Merle Baggard Says:

    Oh, and that’s just one week before my birthday. God is cruel.

  4. The Old Man in KS Says:

    I see that Family Radio is based in Oakland, so I suspect they are subject to typical Californian grandiosity. Probably the big earthquake on May 21 will only get you Californians.

    The Mayans will get the rest of us next year!

  5. Merle Baggard Says:

    Mark 13:32
    But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.

  6. Aaron Says:

    Zombies or no zombies, I expect a lot of looting that day in Oakland. Why? Because its Oakland and someone was once shot on BART……

  7. Jim Says:

    Brains, tasty brains

  8. luckypaul Says:

    Very thoughtful of God to judge us on a Saturday so we can spend our final hours with friends and family.

  9. Guadalupe Johnikins Says:

    That Judgment day stuff is so crazy. Trying to claim the date of the rapture is ludacris. My sister actually sold a bunch of her stuff because she thought it was going to happen and she wasn’t going to need them. This entire event just makes Christians look insanse since people are going to associate this lunatic with Christianity.

Leave a Reply