The Philter

As a rational, educated modern person, I believe that astrology is utter and complete bullshit. Except, of course, as it applies to me. Every astrology column I read somehow contains 11 horoscopes that are a total waste of time and one that is strangely illuminating.

That one is Libra, my sign and that of many of my friends. Again, it is my officially stated position that astrology is stupid. How can you be said to share an entire personality profile and predestined life path with one-twelfth of the human race, just because they were born at approximately the same time of the year as you? It’s utterly ridiculous.
And yet….
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So…5 fat, juicy, real comments for the post where I talk about not blogging anymore. It just goes to show you what the rappers have already figured out: If you want the audience to pay attention to what you’re doing, threaten to retire. To keep this momentum up, from now on I’m going to retire after every post, then unretire when I have something new I want to say.

Today I am temporarily unretiring to suggest a visit to the following address:

http://www.optimismisaskill.com/

where my old homeboy Jim McLelland is offering a series of podcasts that I hesitate to describe to you, because any quick description I gave might sound like an insult. “Self-improvement,” “Chopra-esque spiritual uplift,” “human existence coaching”…all of these things would be technically accurate and yet beside the point.

To put it simply, Jim has spent a long time thinking about this life thing, and he’s figured some stuff out. Those of us who know him are proud and maybe a little surprised at the level of insight on display here. Do yourself a favor and check it out.

Now…back to the shuffleboard.

I don’t need to tell you that the blogosphere, once an exciting new frontier, has quickly grown out of control. It’s kind of like California went from the Gold Rush to the 21st century overnight. Everything’s all clogged up, nobody knows what’s what, and blogs are being used for any and every purpose, no matter how inappropriate.

And I don’t excuse myself from this. I’ve written blog entries about “Sally Forth,” anvils, and Tony Danza. I have transcribed words from the dictionary. I have posted pictures of a laundromat, and no one’s ever tried to stop me.
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Today is the anniversary of the 1970 death of Jimi Hendrix, an occasion which I mark every year by dressing all in black and burning a very small guitar.

This year also marks the 40th anniversary of the Jimi Hendrix Experience’s debut album, Are You Experienced?, released 9/23/1967. John Ridley, in a recent Huffington Post piece, called Are You Experienced? “the most important music album ever.” He was being hyperbolic to make a point, but who am I to argue? I was in utero when the album came out, and here we are many many years later still talking about it. That’s got to mean something.
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This sapphire image lifted from Flickr denizen Orbital Joe.

Occasionally there is a moment when it becomes crystal-clear that a particular formerly hip word or phrase has outlived its usefulness. I experienced such a moment on the way to work this morning.

If you’ve spent any time listening to radio in the Bay Area you’re familiar with Tom Shane, who for many years has been blanketing the airwaves with advertisements for his jewelry concern, the Shane Company. Tom seems like a nice guy, but one thing we can say for sure about him is that he is—how to put this delicately?—extremely white. This did not, however, prevent him from uttering the following phrase bragging on his company’s wares:

“Our selection of sapphires is off the hook.”

End of story.

There was something oddly compelling about this story from today’s Chronicle, which may have flown beneath the radar of my non-Bay Area readers (hi, Dad).

Apparently, the ongoing search for missing “millionaire aviator” Steve Fossett has turned up no fewer than eight other planes, all of which remain unidentified for the time being. Only after concluding the search for Fossett will the agencies involved go back and investigate the other discoveries, and isn’t that a great premise for a TV series?

Suggested soundtrack:
“Lost Planes” / the Fixx
“Burning Airlines” / Brian Eno
“Hit the Plane Down” / Pavement

I never wanted to be one of those guys whose blog turns into a bunch of links to other blogs. But due to lack of time and general non-prolifitude, I may be turning into one of those guys.

Anyway, were you aware of the existence of a trans-continental burrito tunnel? Me neither, until today. This is truly one of the seven wonders of the modern world.

“Hey blood, you can’t be callin’ my phone hella times. I got minutes.”