Heresy to Megahertz

Herewith, more top-of-the-page juxtapositions lifted from Webster’s College Dictionary, c. 1991.

heresy to hero sandwich
hostage to hot tub
hot war to housekeeper
illuminati to imbecile
impregnable to impulse
jelly to jet engine
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Inside the Schneid

I’ve always wondered in a vague, half-assed way about the origin of the term “the schneid,” which crops up mostly in the context of sports. You don’t often hear about someone being “on the schneid” (i.e. stuck on zero, scoreless, winless); more commonly, when a team posts its first point of the game or wins its first game of the series, you are notified that they are now “off the schneid.”

I was inspired to do a little research by a headline in today’s Oakland Tribune, which declared the hapless Raiders “off the schnide” after having defeated the even haplesser Arizona Cardinals. Seeing this, I realized that I’d never actually seen the word written down before; I’d always assumed it was spelled “schneid” and somehow related to the surname “Schneider,” perhaps the tragic legacy of some poor bastard who never got any. (See also: “Munsoned.”)
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The other shoe drops

So Tuesday I had a dream involving Lenny Bruce and cornflakes. Wednesday I happened upon a Lenny Bruce reference in the newspaper. At 5:42 this morning I got this in my inbox:

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Am I saying that my dreams are now predicting the future? Em, no. Not exactly. It’s not my intention to say that. I’d prefer to think that the cornflake spam was triggered by my writing about cornflakes on this site. However, I’ve intentionally kept my email address off the site in order to avoid spam. So I don’t know what to think.

All Hail the Olbermann

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I lifted this picture from the fan site Olbermann.org, which captioned it “Attractively Rumpled.” And who am I to argue? The salt-and-pepper hair is terribly distinguished, and only a little bit satanic.

I’ve had a little man-crush lately on MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann, who’s the only guy out there in the vast wasteland we call TV news tellin’ it like it is. (Other than Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, of course; but since they’re still nominally comedians, they don’t count.) Hammering every day on the Bush administration’s latest travesties isn’t exactly a difficult job, but Olbermann does it with an admirable mix of passion and precision.

Every time I watch one of Olbermann’s “Special Comments”—carefully written, articulately delivered, cogently argued, and peppered with literary and historical references—I think to myself, “I can’t believe I’m actually seeing this on TV in the 21st century.” It’s so counter to the general trend that it seems like a miracle. And while you could argue that Olbermann’s nightly outrage has become a tad predictable, still, it feels like he’s expressing the outrage I should be feeling, if only I had the energy. And a TV show. So I say, keep it up, Keith. I love what you’re doing, but not in a way that should make you uncomfortable.